
Current Offenders

Benny Cole
Guitar / Sex appeal
Benny's brain basically only has room for music and knock-knock jokes, and the jokes aren't even good. Knock knock! Who's there? It couldn't matter less.
A graduate of McNally Smith College Of Music and a regular wizard on more instruments than most people know exist, Benny's skills were forged on the streets. Orphaned as a child, he grew up on the streets of Kuala Lumpur where he was affectionately known as "Twig".
Benny abhors social media, but you can find him at the club with a bottleful of 'bub, and he's probably got the....nevermind.

Sam "Arphu" Foster
Drums / dental hygiene
The son of traveling anthropological missionaries (more than a thousand mummies converted and counting!), Arphu was raised primarily in Asia. His time among the nomadic peoples of northern Mongolia left him with a difficult-to-pronounce name and an affinity for reindeer steaks, which are really hard to get in the U.S.
A former student of McNally Smith College Of Music and a current attendee of the night classes at St. Augustine's Correctional Facility (day classes are only for the minimum-security guys), Arphu spends his free time training carrier pidgeons to steal avocados from unsuspecting millenials.

Anthony Staten
Bass / gingervitis
Released from the cage for every SGF show (plus once per day to go to the bathroom, which at age 32 he finally learned how to do outside), Anthony provides the thump-thump on the stage, and the hump-hump everywhere else. Seriously....look at that face. He's a fiend.
A McNally Smith College Of Music alum, father of one, and the author of the popular "How White Should I Let Myself Get Before I Consult A Doctor" pamphlets at your local pharmacy, Anthony spends a bit of time trash-talking exotic fish on Twitter.

Karin Dye
Fiddle / conscience
The newest, smartest, and most distinguished member of the abominable quintuplet known as SGF, Karin also has had to explain to her mom at least three times that this isn't a ransom thing and she really is in the band of her own volition.
An alum of Gustavus Adolphus college and a full-time orchestra director, Karin chooses to use her powers for primarily for good and spends her time exploring the subtelties of high-end coffee and low-end bourbon.
You can find Karin online, but you have to do it yourself. EARN IT.